Reflection: Mom's Experience of Maug and Germany

From Anne Waters' "outsider's inside view": 
           
          "When Michelle asked me to fly to Germany to experience her life there, I said that I thought I had a good sense of what her life there was like through our conversations, her blogs, and her pictures.  I was wrong.  Thankfully, through the encouragement and provision of my husband, Scott, I was able to fly to Europe to spend time traveling with Michelle and experiencing her life at Black Forest Academy (BFA) and Maugenhard Boys' Dorm the first two weeks of April.  I now have a much more clear picture of Black Forest Academy and Maugenhard Dorm and Michelle's life there.  I was grateful that I also got to spend quite a bit of time with Chris Jones, Michelle's fiancée, and I thoroughly enjoyed my visit with both Michelle and Chris during my time there.

            On several occasions in the time before I went to Germany, Michelle had called us via Skype and introduced us to some of the guys and shown us some of the activities of dorm life.  I had seen many pictures.  Michelle often described herself as being a "mom" to previously 21 and now 19 boys with all that entails.  I think I had a general sense of the responsibilities that the staff had in making sure the boys got their schoolwork done and got to school and their activities on time along with supporting them in those, shopping and making sure meals were provided, caring for the other needs of the boys, and being available for them.  Now I have my experiences there and the stories of the boys and others I met from the dorms, the school, and the church to give "substance" to the general framework of understanding I had, and I will never be the same.

            

             When Michelle was on duty at the dorm, I was her "assistant," and I basically did what she did.  It was the end of spring break, so I went with Michelle on her run to pick up a guy from the Saint Louis (France) train station and two different runs to the Basel, Switzerland, airport to pick up a couple guys.  I appreciated getting to talk with the guys we picked up and learning more about their families and their stories.  Other Resident Assistants (RAs) were picking up other students.  I was impressed with the coordination, flexibility, and communication that went into this process of getting the students back to BFA, which often involved changes in who was doing what based on flight delays and other factors.  The RAs and house parents worked as a team, not just within a dorm but also among the dorms.

            I was also impressed with the division of labor and cooperation within the staff in Maugenhard Dorm, which includes Mark and Sue, the house parents, Frank, the other RA, and Michelle.  I was also impressed with their love, dedication, and care towards the boys.  In the evenings during the week after dinner there were set hours for study for non-seniors and free time for hanging out in the large room that houses the huge kitchen, dining room, and a large space with computers, couches, and chairs.  Michelle warned me ahead of time that most of the guys did not want to be asked questions and that we were just to hang around and be available for them. 

            

            Sue had told me in a conversation we had that these boys were the most difficult of the boys in any dorm.  It was not that they were disobedient.  My observation was that many of them seemed closed to letting the staff into their lives.  The staff put in countless hours of love and sacrifice for very little positive feedback.  I could understand why it has been difficult for Michelle not to be able to "connect" with many of the guys and get much positive feedback from them when she gives so much of herself to them.

            I had the opportunity to encourage one of the boys in Maugenhard Dorm.  I could tell that he was down, and he seemed to feel left out.  It was special to see how he perked up when I talked with him.  We got to talk several times, and one evening he showed me pictures of his artwork and his family on his computer.  He seemed to really appreciate the time and attention I was able to give him.  I know that Michelle has a special relationship with him and several other boys in the dorm.  She and the other staff serve an important role in the dorm of being available for the boys when they need them.  It is not on a schedule.  It is in God's time.

            
            Each boy's story is different.  Most of the boys are children of missionaries, many of whom are in difficult and sometimes closed countries.  Some of the boys chose to be at BFA, and some of the did not.  Some of them seem to be glad to be there, and some of the them seem resentful to be there.  Some of the boys are Christians, and some are agnostics or atheists.  It was mind expanding for me to see boys who look Caucasian and whose parents have U.S. passports or who look Asian and whose parents have South Korean passports talk about being from such countries as the UAE, France, Russia, Belarus, China, Spain, and Turkey.  I was impressed with the desire to serve the Lord and the sacrifice of the parents and families who willingly serve the Lord on the mission field.  I was grateful that BFA gives these missionaries an option for a quality education and a wholesome, loving living arrangement so that they can provide for their children while serving the Lord in difficult circumstances.

            One day a missionary woman and her 14 year old son visited BFA from a difficult, Central Asian country to help her son decide whether he wanted to attend BFA in the fall.  They came to Maugenhard Dorm for dinner, and Michelle and I got to talk with them.  The younger daughter of the missionary woman and her husband is doing well with the online Potters School home school curriculum and is content with that.  This son is very discontented with that and is very social.  The only other option in the town where they live is a Muslim school.  The missionary family is letting the son decide between BFA or going back to the U.S. to live with his grandparents and attend school there.  This was a living example to me of the dilemma missionary families have.  Even the trip to visit BFA took many hours of travel and much expense for the woman and her son.  I admired this missionary couple for involving the boy in this important difficult decision.

            After hearing a number of stories of the boys at Michelle's dorm and other missionary families, a question surfaced to my mind:  If God gives us children to raise and nurture to love and serve the Lord, why does He call missionary families with non-adult children to difficult situations where they feel the need to let their children live in a distant place in a boarding school or with extended family, rather than with them?  I heard of several young people who have rejected the Lord because of their parents' call to be missionaries, and I assume their feeling of not being a priority in their parents' lives has a part in that.

            As I have prayed about this and processed what I experienced at Black Forest Academy, God brought the verse to mind from Isaiah 55:8, "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, ' declares the Lord."  I realize that God has a plan to bring the unreached people of the world to salvation through Jesus Christ.  He calls the people He wants to go where He wants them to go to accomplish His purpose.  Many children of missionary children become committed Christians, and many of them become missionaries themselves, even when they are sent to a boarding school or to live with extended family far from their parents.  Also, many children of committed Christian families who grow up with their families living together and whose parents focus on raising their children to love and serve the Lord end up rejecting the Lord and going their own way.  There is no guarantee.

            I believe that the Black Forest Academy is God's provision for providing the best possible Christ-centered, loving, supportive learning and growth environment for many of the children of the missionary families who are called to difficult countries who believe it is best to have their children live away from them and be educated there.  I heard stories of many of the dorm staff members and BFA teachers and administration.  I was struck by how God has brought the right people to fill the roles that are best suited for them so that the entire school community runs smoothly.  I was also impressed with the heart of the people I met who are on the staff of dorms or in some role at BFA who had a genuine desire to sacrifice to love and serve the Lord.  They willingly gave up a life of comfort to dedicate their lives to the Lord at BFA.  It caused me to search my own level of commitment to serving the Lord and my willingness to sacrifice my comfort in service for the Lord.

            As Michelle said, BFA is not for everyone.  Dorm life at BFA is not for everyone.  Michelle said that some missionary families choose to move near to BFA, so they can live as a family while there children go to school there.  From my observations and conversations, it is important for the missionary families to pray and seek God's guidance about what is best for their children and family and to include the children in the decision so that it becomes their own decisions and then to remain involved in their children's lives to the extent that is possible."